Dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease: Some Encouragement
Blog vol 3. 33. Dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease, Some Encouragement.
At her recent visit, Paula De Ronde, a patient of mine, brought me a copy of the book she has written, My Bert has Alzheimer’s: Caregiving is Living for Two. From 2011 to 2022, Paula was the caregiver for her late husband, Bert. She wrote down her meanderings and compiled them in a book that really captures the daily demands of being a caregiver.
Two words come to mind as you read Paula’s account: intensive and love.
Intensive - the day-in, day-out demands of being a primary caregiver, and then the community of peers and local day programs helping to share the load. The underlying thoughts throughout the entire account are the preciousness of Bert’s life and his loving relationship with Paula. One of the most beautiful moments in the book is when the day program staff sets up a date night for the couples in their care. Every detail, from invitations, decorations, menus, lighting, music, serving, then, later dancing, was done with such attention and care. Just wonderful, so inspiring.
Love - the relationship between Bert and Paula deepens through the disease. Paula’s desire to learn as much about Bert’s disease as possible in order to help him (and a lot of others) shows the depth of her love. I was especially impressed with Bert’s tender heart and love for his wife, even as inhibitions came down with the development of the disease. Bert, you are my inspiration, I hope I can be that man under similar circumstances. The love of others was expressed in real and tangible ways: the way that the PSWs (an under-appreciated group) helped Bert as he entered the long-term care facility, the daily care of looking after Bert and actively involving him in the daily routines of toiletry, dressing, feeding, and so much more.
Her tone in the book is upbeat, her sense of humour contagious. Paula has done a great service for caregivers in encouraging, educating, and especially, sharing her journey.
So many people are caregivers to spouses with Alzheimer’s or with other health concerns. This work is so important and so difficult. I am continually impressed and humbled by my patients who persevere in caring for their spouses through really heart-breaking situations. The love and care are wonderful to see.
The rest of us need to remember to support the people in these situations. We can make such a difference in even small ways.
If you would like to keep up with Paula, you can follow her meanderings at: https://paulasmeanderings.com/.
til next week,
the good doctor
